Well, we have made it through another year. This is my 71st blog post of the year. In the past year I have commented on everything from Enterprise 2.0 to Records Management, and announced the formation of a new company, Information Architected.
Readers of the blog hopefully realize that I aiim (pun and misspelling intended) to present both views to ECM technology, its benefits and challenges; the new functionality and power it unleashes as well as the new security concerns it poses. A huge advocate of using ECM as a facilitator of knowledge exchange and social networing, I have also gone on record as seeing the dark side of Enterprise 2.0 and unfettered "knowledge" exchange.
So - I thought I would end the year's postings on a somewhat comical note, in the spirit of "Many a true word is said in jest." - This came to me as an e-mail earlier this week:
I just want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery. I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel, or have them put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's nose.
Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of Trans fats I have consumed over the years. I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.
I must send my special thanks to those that sent me the one about rodent poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, I now scrub the top of every can I open because of the rat pee on the lid.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
I can no longer buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas, nor do I go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise and won't shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
BTW - If you don't forward this blog post to at least 14,000 people in the next 14 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 1,000 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...
OK - on a more serious note, happy new year to all. Thanks for reading - and I PROMISE to err on the side of seriousness and truth. See you all in 2009.
